The Million Dollar Family

According to Urban Dictionary, the million dollar family is when a married couple have one boy and one girl; the supposedly happy, perfect family. Now since our little girl will be here in just over a week we will officially be a million dollar family, but does that mean that we are going to stop there?

People always ask what we are having and when we tell them they say, “That’s the perfect family. You don’t need to have anymore now.” I get it, they are being “nice” and saying that everyone wants to at least have one boy and one girl. But then, we also get asked, “Are you going to have anymore? You have the ideal family.”

I have never thought of the ideal family being described by a number. I think if you have a happy healthy family you’re pretty ideal. To me the million dollar family is two boys and two girls. Four is the perfect number and let me tell you why.

One kid, aka the only child, gets a little too spoiled for my liking. They don’t have siblings to play with, tease or be there to cheer them on at their extracurricular activities. There is nothing wrong with only having one child, but for me thats not enough.

I came from a two kid family and here is where this can be an issue. My older sister and I were fortunate to get to go on many fun and exciting vacations growing up. But when you are on vacation and around each other constantly you tend to get on each others nerves and fight. Then the trip turns into a vacation where you’re both an only child and you do your own thing. Then there’s no one to enjoy all the many adventures with.

Three kids, let’s get serious for a second here, if you have three you have clearly created a middle child and middle child syndrome is a real thing. Basically what you are doing is setting your child up for feeling isolated, not belonging or enjoying the attention and living up to the expectations given to the oldest and youngest child. I just don’t want to set my child up for feeling like I don’t care about them. My biggest concern however is when you go to places, like Disneyland, someone is going to have to ride alone. Most likely it’s going to be that middle child.

Now four kids, that is the perfect number. Everyone will have a ride buddy at Disneyland, there is no middle child syndrome going on and it’s fair fights when someone doesn’t get along (two-on-two). Yes, having four kids makes you a big family (according to the norm), but I have always wanted to have a bigger family. Looking from the outside in it just always seemed like bigger families had so much more fun.

I have always just dreamed of having a big family and being surrounded by my kids. I get it though, the more kids you have, the harder it is to try to parent them all. Now it’s not like we have the idea of becoming 19 Kids and Counting, but I think that four kids is a reasonable sized family and won’t be too hard on us. When both parents are being active parents no one gets burnt out. You are there for each other, supporting one another during those times that are hard and you work through them together.

Just remember that whatever size family we get is a blessing.  Families come to us in many different ways and whether it’s one or 21, we are the the luckiest to be their parents.

 

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