Why is it that people are always saying that chivalry is dead? Is it because you never dated a guy that would open your door, pull out your chair, let you (the lady) go first? Maybe I’m just old fashion, but I think being a gentleman is not a lost art. And I’ll be damned if I don’t teach my son how to be modern gentlemen.
I remember when I was a little guy, always being told that we always open doors for ladies, we always let mom go first and we always treat women with love and respect. I was not only told this, but it was shown to me by my dad. It was something we did at our home to show our love and respect for the women that surround us. They always say, actions speak louder than words.
My dad is a fantastic example of this. I can’t think of a time that he hasn’t gotten the door for my mom, given her his coat when it’s cold outside and pulled out her chair. To this day, he is still doing these things for my mom and although he may not even think about it, people are watching and notice that he does these things for her. As a matter of fact, the other night we were with my parents and some friends of ours were telling me how they know that my dad truly loves my mom because of the things he does for her and the care he shows for her.
In high school, I was known for being a total gentleman and ladies man. Every Christmas I made sure that ALL the girls felt special and got them all a special and personal gift. My junior year I made a huge parking lot out of an old box. I bought toy cars and labeled each one with a different girl’s name. I went around and told them that I bought them a car for Christmas and that it was in the parking lot. Then, would open the box and show them the thoughtful gift that I had purchased for each and everyone of them. Just a small and simple thing to do that showed them that someone was thinking about them.
So why is it that chivalry is dying? Are we as fathers not teaching our sons the traditions in which have been taught for years? I feel that it is our duty as fathers, to teach our boys to be gentlemen; modern gentlemen.
Let me share with you ten simple tricks for bringing up a perfect modern gentlemen:
1. Open doors for every woman, but you don’t have to stand and hold them forever.
Modern gentlemen will make sure that he gets to the door before a woman is going in or leaving, but if you have a group of women following you it doesn’t mean that you have to stay there and keep holding the door for every woman that is going through.
2. Offer your seat.
Every time I go to Cheesecake Factory there is always a major wait and women are always standing. Whenever I get the chance to sit, I make sure that I check to see if any ladies would like to take the seat first before I sit my lazy butt down. If a woman walks into a room and all of the chairs are taken, a modern gentleman will immediately stand up and insist she take the seat.
4. Walk on the outside of traffic.
It doesn’t matter who I am standing next to: my mom, wife, sister, friends, any lady I know, I never let them walk on the side of the road that traffic is on. I would rather a car hit me or puddles of mud/water splash on me. Protect your women.
5. Help her with her coat when entering or leaving a place.
As guys it’s inevitable that we look like idiots taking our coat off or putting it back on, but we shouldn’t let women have to go through that. True modern gentlemen will help a lady with her coat either way: on or off.
6. Compliment her like crazy.
Women love compliments. And why shouldn’t they? It is the easiest thing that you can do for them, but only if they are genuine. Don’t just say things to say them; be sincere. Also the more you compliment, the more believing they are. If you don’t do it often it may come across as sarcastic or make them second guess your sincerity.
7. Walk her to her door.
What if you were to drop your date off and you stayed in your car. Then a mass murderer came out of the bushes, killed her and ran to the next victim he was going after. How would you feel? Why put the risk out there? Walk her to her door and make sure that she gets in safely. You might even be rewarded with a goodnight kiss.
8. If you have to park far away, drop her off first.
I feel like this one just makes sense. If you can’t find any place that is close to park, offer to drop her off as you go and park. Women tend to wear shoes that aren’t always the easiest to walk in. So to make things easier for them, and for you to be a complete gentleman, just offer. Who knows, maybe she’ll want to stay with you and walk too.
9. If you ask a girl out on a date, call her, DON’T TEXT.
Me being the age that I am (33), growing up we didn’t have the option of texting our dates to see if they want to go out. But if you have grown up with it, STOP! Girls want to feel special and want to hear you ask them. If you can’t talk to her on the phone then what are you going to talk about on the date?
10. Make a first impression.
You only get a first impression once, so make it memorable. Dress nice, wear cologne (not Axe Body Spray) and maybe get her a flower. I know, it’s old fashioned, but it gets the points. Women love thoughtful gestures, she will be impressed and that first impression will last. Nothing says worst date ever than a sloppy, ungroomed date or vehicle. Don’t make her want to plug her nose, hide behind her coat or brush off her seat before getting in your car. A little grooming can go a long way!
These are simple steps that any guy can do and easy ways to bring chivalry back. Let’s teach our boys to have respect for women and how to be true modern gentlemen. I hope that one day I will get to witness my son opening doors for his mother, sister and one day his wife.