A modern dad could be taken in any different direction. With posting my opinions on things like circumcision, vaccinating and more to come, I get people mocking me all the time saying, “He says he’s ‘The Modern Dad’ but look at how un-modern his decisions are.” So what does make a ‘Modern Dad’ in today’s society?
According to the commentators a modern dad must be a gay and single father, anti-vaccinator, uncircumcised, organic eating father. Apparently since I’m none of these things, that doesn’t make me a modern dad. Here is what I think makes a modern dad:
- A modern dad is involved with his children
When I was younger, the fathers of the neighborhood were always working. They were never really involved in the lives of their children. That was the job of the mother. Moms were at every game, recital, dropping off, picking up, etc. That was just the way it was.
Now, a dad is a man that is involved in their child’s life. They not only sign their kids up for sports, they want to be the coach because they want to be around their child more. Personally, I am constantly looking at the clock while at work counting down the minutes to where I get to be with my kids.
- A modern dad is a partner with his wife
Gone are the days where Ward Cleaver comes home and sits on the comfy chair while June bakes cookies. Modern dads help make dinner, help kids with homework, help change diapers and help put the kids to bed. Modern dads are active participants in all the things wives used to be solely responsible for.
Trying to be a regular participant of getting these things done. Slowly these duties have gone from being just for mom. Then it morphed more into the way of turn taking, “I changed their diaper last time, it’s your turn.” Working as a partner with your spouse you do everything and nothing is gender specific. Makes parenting easier.
- A modern dad does not make all the decisions
Just because I am the one that is working, therefore bringing in the money, I don’t assume that means I make all the decisions. We are a team and we make our choices together. We look into if we should purchase a minivan or SUV. Even though one person isn’t for something, we look more into it because you want both sides.
When we first were married we sat down and talked about how many kids we wanted and when we wanted to start having kids. Both just turning 31, we knew that we wanted to start sooner rather than later. We decided we didn’t want to be 60 and taking our kids to preschool. Then talking about the number of kids we had a discussion. Also, we both had decided upon if we’d both work and have the kids in daycare or if one of us would say home while the other worked.
Being a modern dad you don’t take control of the decisions that effect both you and your spouse. You make choices together and work towards setting goals as a partnership.
- A modern dad is independent
There was a time when dads seemed to be unable to wash their own clothes or cook their own meals. Modern dads not only know how to wash their own clothes, but know how to wash the whole family’s clothes. Not only are they cleaning the clothes, but modern dads are also buying the clothes. Constantly watching what’s trending and making sure, not only their kids, but entire family is on trend.
They also know how to cook for the whole family, what day and time ballet class is and how to fit it all in with a full-time work schedule. Not relying on a wife as much as they used to. They are using Pinterest just as much as the wife does finding simple ways to declutter the house, cleaning tips for toddlers and making their very designs to add to the madness.
Just because I am vaccinating my kids, circumcising my boys and making other decisions for my children because I am their parent doesn’t mean I am not a modern dad. Being modern is more than just following the recent trends people are doing. I do research the decisions that I make for my kids and don’t just do things because that’s what I’ve done or was done to me. I care about my family and am here to just learn along the way.
Being a modern dad is all about being involved in the lives of your wife and children.