10 Things Every Toddler Parent Understands

  1. The cute aggression struggle is real. I love my kid so much that I genuinely worry I might eat him up. You don’t know affection until you find yourself gnawing on someone’s limbs.
  2. Children hate being dressed. If you have seen my Instagram account, you have seen all the cute pictures of our toddler dressed super cute. But let’s get one thing clear, it’s not real. It’s a struggle everyday trying to get him to keep on his “cute” clothes and even if he dresses himself he changes out of it all three to four times a day. I’ve had to learn to let him be him.
  3. Even after the many times waking up with a hungry baby, sick toddler and not being able to understand what they want, you think of having another one… You’ll catch your significant other and your child interacting in such a way that it makes your ovaries explode or in my case sperm swim, and suddenly, you start viewing your strict birth control pill instructions as a light suggestion.
  4. When your child first becomes mobile, they will get bumps, bruises and scraped. It happens to all kids. I feel like I have to walk around with a note from Child Protective Services stapled to my kid’s head, confirming that there is no mistreatment occurring in the home. I think we tend to forget that kids are learning and this just helps them learn to brush off their shoulders and try again.
  5. Kids want to eat everything… except, you know, food. We love to have dinner together. Now that doesn’t always mean that we are all eating the same thing, but we eat together. But then why is it that my son can find something to eat off the kitchen floor, under the couch cushion and who knows what outside. Kids eat anything that will fit in their mouth. Just make sure they aren’t eating anything that could harm them and you’ll be fine.
  6. The commencement of talking is both a blessing and a curse. I feel like having a toddler you have to learn a second language. He speaks who knows what, but his mother can understand him. I have been in a room when he has been screaming at the top of his lungs trying to tell me who knows what. Who knew that “da do” meant “love you?” Once he speaks, it’s a real language of love.
  7. Presentable is a relative term. As long as my kids look good, I could care less what I look like. I can’t tell you how many times I have put on clothes that had snot on the shoulder, stains on the sleeves or my hair was a total mess. Really, there is no more dressing up anymore. And just because I look good now doesn’t mean I spent the entire day looking picture perfect.  In fact sometimes we document it on Instagram just to remember that we actually accomplished something that allowed us to dress up.
  8. Clean: definition for play time. You all know the trick, child runs into the other room and you quickly pick up all the toys that they scattered all over the floor.  Just when they come back to “clean” they immediately dump out the bucket of guys or empty the bookshelf. I swear toddlers are really trying to see how effective we are at organizing their toys and how quickly we can clean up their messes.  All day everyday!
  9. Letting them help is really you taking control of a messy situation. We’ve all been there, toddler grabs a full glass of water then shrieks when you try to intervene. Our response is I’m just trying to help you. Toddler just threw an entire roll of toilet paper in the bathtub and responds “Ewwww!” Of coarse you are thinking a hundred other things but reply “can you help daddy clean it up? Toilet paper goes in the potty not the tub.” Sometimes a toddler helping is a lot more difficult than just doing something yourself.
  10. Despite all of their challenges, children are truly a blessing. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, your little one runs up to you with arms out stretched and says, “Daddy, I da do!” It melts my heart every time and just confirms to me that I must be doing something right.